Good afternoon everyone. Yes, I'm actually posting this chapter in the afternoon instead of the evening. Go figure! ( :-D ) This will be a short chapter, as I'm going to do something I very rarely do. I'm going to talk a bit about me. I don't talk about me very much, preferring instead to listen to others. I won't, therefore, offer any refreshment since you'll be through reading this before you could finish a drink.
Today would be, if she were living, Yvonne's birthday. (Yvonne was my wife) I'm remembering with a broken heart the ten years we had together that were so great. I'm also remembering with a broken heart the other years we had in which she degenerated into mental illness. I won't go into detail. It was a time of great confusion since I didn't know what was happening. I only knew that she was steadily changing and didn't know why. As I look back I grieve her life. A life so vibrant, and yet a life so tragic. She was the love of my life then and I don't understand anymore now than I did then what happened or why. I just try to accept it. I work at that daily. So, here I sit, with a life full of love to give and no one to give it to. One of life's little ironies, huh? She'd have been fifty six today if she were still here. Happy birthday Von! .........And so it went............
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Friday, April 06, 2007
The green, green grass of...............
Good evening once again everyone. Welcome back to this blog and thank you for coming and spending your valuable time here. You'll notice that I've removed all of the old chairs and replaced them with cushy recliners. Pick one out and place your order. Since it's not too late I'm serving whatever is legal. ( :-D ) I even have some bottled spring water for someone special. Is that you? I bottled it myself but I won't tell you the source. ( :-D ) Anyway, I'm glad you're here and reading. Relax and enjoy yourselves. Now on to the subject for tonight........
This will be the last chapter on the subject of 'Love', unless I have requests for more. In that case we can explore it a bit further. I've pondered at great length about how to put into words what I want to say in this chapter. In short, I'd like to talk about our responsibilities in a relationship that is Loving. I'll limit this post, in interest of time and space, to three areas of responsibility that we each have. These are areas in which you and I alone have sole discretion in decision making. We can listen to other peoples views and advise, but in the end it's our own choices in these areas that decide our behavior and ultimately the fate of the relationship we're in. The first thing we'll look at is how you and I view ourselves. Do you see yourself as someone of worth? Do you treat yourself as someone of worth? Most of us have issues that make that difficult. Some of these issues are from a childhood that was flawed in some way. That creates problems that we have to live with daily. Some of these issues come from a previous relationship (or relationships) in which betrayal was involved. Betrayal to any degree makes us feel many times like we're worth less than we are. All of this is a part of our human nature, but it isn't something that we can't work through. Sometime with some help. We each though, in the end, are responsible for remaining the way we are or recognizing that we need some help in making changes and actually working to make those changes in how we think happen. A final thought on this is, our worth is not dependent on how a relationship goes (or doesn't go).
The second area of responsibility in a loving relationship is, even though it's crucial, often very neglected. It's working to be lovable. How can we expect someone to love us if we're not someone that can be loved. So often we act selfish, angry, spiteful, sarcastic, etc. and then wonder why our mate isn't as loving as we'd like he/she to be. There are two critically important things that must occur with regularity to keep that from happening. Let me first say that I'm not talking about the occasional times that we feel bad or down. When we've had a bad day. I'm talking about when we're like that on a daily basis. When that is, for us, more the norm than the exception. The first of the two things is that we must often examine ourselves and ask the tough questions. The questions being, "am I easy to love?" and "if I were my mate could I easily love me?" Then comes the harder part, which is of course, answering yourself candidly and honestly. If you don't do that then don't bother to ask the questions at all. Being someone that is easy to love is half of the equation and essential for both in a relationship to work on. (and it is work though worth the effort) The third area of responsibility is to be able to give love. That's the part that often gets all the attention. Let's face it! Sometime we're all hard to love, right? We have to remember though, that when our mate is the hardest to love is when they need our love the very most. That's the time what we have to 'work' at giving our love. If we will give the work that this takes the grass will always stay greener at home than in other places. OK, OK, I'll stop! Just don't throw anymore tomatos. I sincerely hope and pray that this series on 'hope, faith and love' has been helpful but mostly I hope it causes us all to take stock of ourselves and how we live. .....................And so it goes...............
This will be the last chapter on the subject of 'Love', unless I have requests for more. In that case we can explore it a bit further. I've pondered at great length about how to put into words what I want to say in this chapter. In short, I'd like to talk about our responsibilities in a relationship that is Loving. I'll limit this post, in interest of time and space, to three areas of responsibility that we each have. These are areas in which you and I alone have sole discretion in decision making. We can listen to other peoples views and advise, but in the end it's our own choices in these areas that decide our behavior and ultimately the fate of the relationship we're in. The first thing we'll look at is how you and I view ourselves. Do you see yourself as someone of worth? Do you treat yourself as someone of worth? Most of us have issues that make that difficult. Some of these issues are from a childhood that was flawed in some way. That creates problems that we have to live with daily. Some of these issues come from a previous relationship (or relationships) in which betrayal was involved. Betrayal to any degree makes us feel many times like we're worth less than we are. All of this is a part of our human nature, but it isn't something that we can't work through. Sometime with some help. We each though, in the end, are responsible for remaining the way we are or recognizing that we need some help in making changes and actually working to make those changes in how we think happen. A final thought on this is, our worth is not dependent on how a relationship goes (or doesn't go).
The second area of responsibility in a loving relationship is, even though it's crucial, often very neglected. It's working to be lovable. How can we expect someone to love us if we're not someone that can be loved. So often we act selfish, angry, spiteful, sarcastic, etc. and then wonder why our mate isn't as loving as we'd like he/she to be. There are two critically important things that must occur with regularity to keep that from happening. Let me first say that I'm not talking about the occasional times that we feel bad or down. When we've had a bad day. I'm talking about when we're like that on a daily basis. When that is, for us, more the norm than the exception. The first of the two things is that we must often examine ourselves and ask the tough questions. The questions being, "am I easy to love?" and "if I were my mate could I easily love me?" Then comes the harder part, which is of course, answering yourself candidly and honestly. If you don't do that then don't bother to ask the questions at all. Being someone that is easy to love is half of the equation and essential for both in a relationship to work on. (and it is work though worth the effort) The third area of responsibility is to be able to give love. That's the part that often gets all the attention. Let's face it! Sometime we're all hard to love, right? We have to remember though, that when our mate is the hardest to love is when they need our love the very most. That's the time what we have to 'work' at giving our love. If we will give the work that this takes the grass will always stay greener at home than in other places. OK, OK, I'll stop! Just don't throw anymore tomatos. I sincerely hope and pray that this series on 'hope, faith and love' has been helpful but mostly I hope it causes us all to take stock of ourselves and how we live. .....................And so it goes...............
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