Shake well..Then run like @#$%^&* (everything)

Good Evening. I'm happy to have you giving your attention to this blog tonight. Pull up a chair and order whatever drink you prefer, then relax and enjoy. I want to say while you're getting all of that done that the post for tonight really happened. Just a bit of a prelude. This post has been a bit of time coming. It's been in the making for a while in the form of a draft, but I do have a good excuse. Well...Good to me. I've been too busy and lately been sick. I go to the Doctor Monday, but I suspect I have some form of Pneumonia. I'll keep you updated if you like. Ok, on to this man's post and I hope you enjoy it. It still brings a smile to my lips after all these years.
These events took place in Jacksonville, Florida in the year of, well, I'm not sure of the year but it was somewhere around the late sixties and the early seventies. I was new in the Navy and very brand new in Attack Squadron eighty six at Naval Air Station (NAS) Cecil Field. As the newest guy in the squadron I was, of course, assigned the lowest job available. That was running the coffee mess. For those unfamiliar with Navy terminology the "mess" was where coffee and soft drinks and goody snacks were available all day. (it wasn't really a mess, I kept it clean) My job was to keep the coffee made, available and drinkable. (well, as drinkable as possible) In the course of my day I saw, got acquainted with and made friends with most of the guys.

Most I liked immediately, some took some time to get to know. One character I remember, I don't remember his name, (and don't really want to) was, how do I put this gently, crass, uncouth, smart aleck and just generally abrasive. I dreaded to see him coming. I was at that time an E3 and He was an E6, quite a bit higher up. But I digress from my tale. One day I'd stocked some Ritz colas in the fridge. For those not familiar with Ritz cola, it was at the time the store brand of a major grocery chain and very cheap. They were about ninety percent fizz and ten percent something else. At any rate, that particular day I'd stocked the fridge full of them. As luck would have it, here came everyone's favorite guy. He'd already been by and gotten a ritz a couple of times, so I figured he'd want another. I removed one from the fridge to have it ready. Just before he got to me someone called his name and he turned around to talk to ever who it was. It was at that moment in time I had a flash of brilliance. As his back was turned I began vigorously shaking his ritz drink. I even dropped it on the deck a few times to get it good and agitatedly. As if on cue he turned and came to my counter and as I'd figured he ordered a ritz cola (which I gladly served). He tossed me the nickel for the drink and turned to walk outside from the hanger we were in. As he opened the door a lieutenant was coming into the hanger. The E6 stepped aside for the officer and as he waited for him to enter he popped the top on the now explosive can of cola. I bet you've guessed the rest. As the Lieutenant stepped inside, the cola sprayed it's entire contents on him from his head to his toes. Not much of the Lieutenant's uniform escaped complete saturation. Needless to say, both men were totally speechless for a moment. The E6 began by stuttering. The Lieutenant started out with a couple of expletives and it digressed from there. I on the other hand was quite speechless for awhile, not that the mirth of the situation escaped me. I just knew better than to let on I knew anything at all. I therefore put on my very best look of innocence. I should have gotten an Oscar for it. When news of the mishap traveled around the squadron I was congratulated by almost everyone, though I still maintained my innocence. (that was an act of self preservation) I later was remorseful. The E6 was later disabled from a mistake made by someone else on the flight deck, and was medically discharged from the Navy. The moral of this story is, if you ever have a chance to shake a ritz cola, shake and run. .......and so it went.......

In Memoriam.......

Good Afternoon and welcome to my blog. Actually it's not my blog as much as it is yours, since I don't really write this for myself. Well, maybe I do some. Sometimes it's just good to get some things out of my head and heart. At any rate, make yourselves comfortable and have a drink.(you'll have to supply your own this time)
I've had on my mind for a couple of days the reason(s) for Memorial day. First of all, I'm glad that we have a day set aside for this specific purpose. It's brought to my mind the reason that Congress set this day aside, to honor those that have given their lives in service of their country. Given their lives not only in death but in other ways that are mostly permanent and very painful. In the process of trying to think these things through and make some sense of it I've come to some conclusions. Maybe they're good conclusions maybe they're not so good but they are the best I have come up with so far. I've thought back over the last thirty four years trying to make sense of my memories. As I recall those years I remember three basic categories of those people with which I served. I write this at the risk of oversimplifying for there is no simply way to view this. I've seen over those years guys and gals that live with memories they can't live with. Maybe that doesn't make much sense but there it is. Waking up because of nightmares of other times and other places. Waking in those times huddling under their bedcovers, shaking, in a panic and wet with sweat from a cold body. Depression too debilitating to be able to function well at times. Those guys and gals have to be remembered in a special way. They deserve all of the support and more that can be given. Then there are those that didn't have the chance to come home. Guys and gals that went to somewhere that till then was only a name in a history book or an encyclopedia. A place that most of us had never heard of and knew almost nothing about. Places like France, Italy, Germany, Okinawa, Tarawa, Iwo Jimo, Korea and yes, even Viet Nam. Now we can add to this list a far off place called Iraq. The list goes on and on seemingly without end. We could all put names on that list because we all have lost someone at those places. People that we remember personally and people we've only heard about from other loved ones. These are the real heros of the wars that we remember on Memorial day. The third group I remember are the ones that went to those far off places and came home to pick up lives the best they could. As I today walked through a cemetary I took notice of each grave that displayed an American flag. It occured to me that for every grave so marked there were people that had lived many years without a husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother and sister to laugh and cry with. People that had faced life without the support that could have and should have been provided by that person in the grave. How many lives, I wondered, were changed because of the death of that loved one. Too many to count! At church today those in attendance were recognized for their service to the branch of service they were in. Those in attendance aren't the real heros. T'he real heros are those that didn't come home and those that did and still work hard to live with what they saw and experienced.
Enough. I think I'll start tomorrow calling those buddies that are left to me, but first I think I'll go now and have a good cry. ........and so it went and so it goes........

Departures (3rd in the series)

Good Afternoon all. It's Sunday and I've reached a goal. I've lived through one week and started another. Hooray for me! It was a good but busy week and I'm looking forward to this coming week. Lots to do and lots of people to help, but much joy in the process of living. Yea! For life and living. I'm continuing a theme of posting that I'd abandoned for quite a while. It has been a week of contemplation for me. Last Friday (the 19th) marked eighteen years since my Dad's death. I happened to drive by the hospital He was in when He died and began to remember the last occasion I had to see him and spend time with him. We all knew his death was imminent but that didn't take away the sting of losing him. I never seem to go through a day that I don't consciously recall something or many somthings that he taught me, either by deliberate teaching or simply by example. Let me simply say here that there is nothing I could say to give him the Honor he deserves. I didn't know the last time I spent time with him that it would be our last departure. It's probably a good thing too because I don't believe I could have left his bedside. The afternoon He passed away I was supposed to spend the night at his side taking care of him. I wish I'd had the opportunity to go. It's one of two of the sadest departure I can ever recall in my life. The other I'll talk more about later. ........and so it went......

Huge laughs from a fragile barricade....

Good Morning all. I'm staying up late tonight to post this. I suppose I'm still feeling a bit guilty for there being such a long time span between the last posts. ( :-D ) anyway, here I am to tell another of our endless line of escapades from many years ago.
We would, from time to time, get together to come up with ways to make hearts beat faster in our community. (we being some of us guys in the area) Let me quickly interject here that we always were careful to never cause property, financial or personal damages. This particular act required a few things. One, a dark night. Two, no breeze or wind. When things were right with nature we'd select a semi steep hill on a road in the community. We'd then get busy erecting the "barricade". Having the conditions right and the material needed we'd get busy. First we'd put a waist high stake on either side of the road. Then we'd begin wrapping toilet paper from one stake to the other, around and around. After a few minutes we'd step back and admire our handiwork. All that was needed then was to spray some red paint lines on the toilet paper and set back and wait for an unsuspecting driver. When we'd see someone coming we'd get back off of the road a little way, lay down on the ground and watch the action. As the poor driver topped the hill there was the barricade and of course he/she would hit the brakes hard. I can't count the number of drivers that we watched slide, wheels locked, through the "barricade". After stopping they'd get out of the car, shake a bit, get mad (change their pants) then drive away. At this point we would all howl with laughter. I can't count the number of times we'd do this. Looking back over the years I can't seem to recall why it was so funny. I'm thinking maybe it was the result of hormones (you know those sneaky things that course through our bloodstream). Anyway, it was always great fun, at least for those laying in wait. I can't speak for the 'victims', having never been one. Oh, the "joys" of youth. I wonder how we ever survive it. ..........And so it went............

How to be the best frog possible....

Good Evening. I can see you all sitting and waiting in great anticipation for this post. I acknowledge that it's a few days late and I apologize all the way from my toes.
Let me first update everyone on my friend Pete. I went Saturday and cut his lawn, etc. He is indeed home from the hospital and doing very well. He's had very few problems but his family is having quite a difficult time. The difficulty comes with Pete. He doesn't want to stay still. They're having to watch him because He wants to get up and do things. He is allowed to walk but with a walker. If he's out of sight though He'll pick up his walker and carry it. He is quite a character and a wonderful friend, both to me and in years past to my Dad.
Ok, for those out there that aspire to be a frog I'm going to give you some input. Let me first acknowledge that we all from time to time tend to have frogy tendencies. This isn't for you. It's for those that are lifelong frogs. This list could go on for quite a long time, so I'll just hit a few now and cover more later. Let's start with a characteristic that is quite prevailent in todays world. It's called 'selfishness'. The dictionary defines selfish as " an act of total regard for one's own desires to the exclusion of what others want". To carry this a bit further, a selfish lifestyle is " to be consumed with one's own wants and desires while being completely unconcerned with the needs of others". Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is a giant step toward complete frogdom. There are, of course, other attributes that go toward the making of a perfect frog. Those we'll get into later. The flipside of that is to be looking as we go through life for those around us that have needs. Not only looking for them but reaching out to them in whatever way we can. Let me say here, that if that's the way you do things you are not a good frog. Now a word to those that have a frog in their lives in some capacity or other. Just as physically kissing a green toad will not turn it into a prince/princess, neither will figuritively kissing a 'frog' turn him/her into anything other than what they choose to be. Now a question for you to ponder for a while. Can one truly be a Christian and at the same time be a frog? I have another question but I'll save it for later. For those frogs out there reading this I will tell you that there is a way to change from your 'frogginess' to something infinately better. To find that out though, you're gonna have truly want to know the answer. ...........and so it goes.........

""MAY"" we have Christmas please?

A good evening to all. A hearty welcome. Have a seat and place your order. It'll be ready soon then you can enjoy it while reading this post. The post for today is somewhat unbelievable but I promise it's the truth. I could hardly believe it and I saw it with my own two bleary and bloodshot eyes. ( :-D ) I can see the curiosity mounting in most of you, therefore I'll get right to the topic before a riot ensues. We have, in the neighborhood in which I live, something which occurs most everyday. We have driving through our streets a lady driving a ice cream truck. I know at this point most if not all of you are wondering what's such a big deal about that. The funny part is that as she drives through she plays over her loud speaker system Christmas carols. The first time I heard it I started counting on my fingers to make sure it wasn't December. I knew if it was I'd missed most of two thousand and six. Imagine my relief when I figured out that it was indeed the month of May. The second time she came through playing the same Christmas carols I decided that I had to have credible witnesses so everyone wouldn't think I was crazy, even though the subject on my craziness is open for debate. ( I'm told that the jury is still out on that ) So on the spot I made a phone call to my CW's (credible witnesses). Let me say here that some may disagree with my choices but to that I say...Well...You may be right. I called Kim and Crissy, got them on my cell phone, waited till the ice cream lady came back down the street, put my cell phone on speaker, held it up in the air and sure enough, they heard it. When they confirmed that they had indeed heard it relief flooded through my body. I suddenly felt that all was right with the world. I wasn't crazy. (at least in my own mind) I'd like to suggest that all reading this post make it a point to come here and see it for yourself. Let me here list the songs that have been so far played. 1) Frosty the snowman. 2) The twelve days of Christmas. 3) The little drummer boy. 4) Silent night. 5) Winter wonderland. 6) The one about chestnuts roasting on an open fire (I don't remember the title of that one). There are some others but I can't recall all of them right now. I'm thinking of beginning soon to charge per carload for people to come and see/hear this so come soon so you can beat the crowd. I'm thinking that this will maybe make our property values go up, but then, who knows? ........And so it goes.........

More on the Frog epidemic.....

Good Evening everyone and welcome once again to this blog. I've had a few inquiries about the mint juleps so I've added Sam's cola to the menu. So, pull up a chair and enjoy. ( :-D )
A quick observation on the frogs of this world. I've known many frogs in my lifetime and have come to this conclusion. No matter how much a frog is kissed it never turns into a prince/princess. Ok...Now on to another item on the frog culture.
There is something that all frogs lack in their lives. That something is spoken of in Holy Scripture. Sadly we don't hear the word that denotes it used very often in our culture. It is something that can make a huge difference in the lives of those that we come in contact with, but especially in the lives of our friends and family. Ok, ok....The word. It's compassion. I've been surprised at how few people even know what it is. I would like to suggest that we all do a bit of digging into it's meaning. It is a very precious quality to have in any life. The absence of it is most often because of an acute amount of selfishness. We humans are often so focused on ourselves and our own world that we lose sight of the people around us. We often walk right by people that are in need and, yes, even pain. A couple of reasons we don't see those needs in others is because 1) we don't/can't slow down enough to look and 2) we stay intently focused on ourselves and our world. Let me encourage all that is reading this to look outside of ourselves and our little part of the world. Let us learn to recognize those that have a need then make ourselves a part of the solution as far as is possible. Said another way...Let's stop kissing the frogs we know in order to make them less ugly and look to making ourselves more attuned to those of God's creations that have needs and pain, and that He's put in our paths. With that I'll say goodnight.... .........And so it goes..........

My friend Pete....

A cheery good evening to everyone. Welcome and relax while I whip up some more mint juleps. A short post tonight about a friend of mine. His name is Pete ( but I bet you've already figured that out, huh ) Pete is now eighty four and is going into the hospital in the morning for his second colon cancer surgery in two years. Needless to say, he's scared. He and I have a bit of a history. When he was a younger man (actually before I was born) He and my Dad played semi-pro baseball on the same team. That was before the time of the professional team owners having 'farm teams'. From what Pete says, the only thing that kept both of them out of the pros was world war II. I suppose that changed a lot of plans of a lot of people. Anyway, back to Pete. His wife, Charlene is her name, has the beginning stages of alzheimers. Pete has three children that can and will look after Charlene but he had no one to take care of his lawn. To make a long story short, I'll be taking care of things for him. Let me say at this point that it's an honor for him to ask that of me and I'm honored and privledged to have the opportunity. I'll post more on Pete when I hear how things went. .........And so it goes.........